A WINDSURFERS GUIDE TO THE CREDIT CRUNCH

It’s official! We’re in a double-dip recession. George Osborne just pronounced that “The economy is not growing as fast as we anticipated. We have to focus on things that really matter.” “Hear hear!” we say. What could matter more than windsurfing? An avenue of joy, open to all!

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Lean back in your harness, bend your back leg & you will ride over the roughest chop

In this time of doom, gloom and Eurozone crisis, here at the N.W.F, we aim to bring you something at least a little bit uplifting. And here it is. A Windsurfer’s Guide to Surviving the Credit Crunch!
We windsurfers know all about boom and bust. Just ask my husband. He bust two booms last year – and one of those was unbreakable! And as we all know, The Answer to Spending Our Way Out of Recession = Windless Day + Credit Card + Andy Biggs Watersports*. As for Proffitt and Loss… nope. Those are two words which simply cannot go together!

A sound economic principle is that if an investment looks too good to be true, it is, but the N.W.F is a recession-proofed package of fun and watery brilliance. So what is the catch? I have been looking for one, but have yet to find it! Everyone who goes raves about the N.W.F and EVERYTHING to do with the festival is included in the entry fee, so there are no sneaky extras to pay.

You get; three days of entertainment; two parties; two live bands; entry to the biggest trade-show in the UK; free parking and camping for competitors; a meal on Saturday; an event rash vest and goody bag; coaching clinics with THE top technique gurus; prizes galore; new equipment demos; try-windsurfing sessions; entry to the windsurf and SUP races; the fabulous, floodlit night windsurf; Spirit FM roadshow on Saturday; W4CR charity auction on Friday… Phew! A big list like that, I need to inhale. Who do you think I am? Stephen Fry!

Still, that does seem like a lot of added value for fifty quid. Crikey, it costs me over £30 just for three days’ parking at Poole, never mind camping, tuition and entertainment all day and all of the night. Even a couple of coffees these days is over a fiver – and just think of all the fun you will have. (I realise that technically, we can’t include this as part of the return on investment, since, in the language of Accountancy, there is no word for ‘fun’.) In investment terms, though, I think a ticket to the N.W.F is what is known in the trade as a ‘No Brainer’!

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Panic can lead to a painful crash

And I do believe that the financial markets could learn a thing or two from windsurfing. Windsurfing is counter-intuitive. I mean, the financial crisis would never have happened if bankers had applied a little windsurfing wisdom; “When the going gets tough: Relax! Lay back in your harness! In the teeth of a storm – sheet in HARD; bend that back leg MORE! Show confidence and you will ride smoothly over the chop and navigate the most troubled waters. It may be scary; you might feel that at any moment, you will be catapulted into the maelstrom; you might think your only option is a bail out – but hold your nerve and you might surprise yourself. Believe – and you will pull through…” And you never know; it could be the ride of your life!

In any case, this financial crisis is all so unnecessary. If the bankers responsible had been windsurfers, they would have already known – panic often leads to a painful crash!
Jackie Lambert

Online entry opens 1st June 2012 at www.nationalwindsurfingfestival.com. Don’t be a snoozer – don’t be a loser. Make sure that you snap up the biggest bargain of 2012! The first 300 online entries will secure their place – and a free rash vest!

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